Ask Yourself

Not from the Iraq War on Groundhog Day 2007, but rather from an underground field press release issued at the Western Front, 1916:

ARE YOU A VICTIM TO OPTIMISM?

YOU DON'T KNOW?

THEN ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.

1. DO YOU SUFFER FROM CHEERFULNESS?

2. DO YOU WAKE UP IN A MORNING FEELING THAT ALL IS GOING WELL FOR THE ALLIES?

3. DO YOU SOMETIMES THINK THAT THE WAR WILL END WITHIN THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS?

4. DO YOU BELIEVE GOOD NEWS IN PREFERENCE TO BAD?

5. DO YOU CONSIDER OUR LEADERS ARE COMPETENT TO CONDUCT THE WAR TO A SUCCESSFUL ISSUE?

If your answer is "YES" to any one of these questions then you are in the clutches of that dread disease.

WE CAN CURE YOU.

Two days spent at our establishment [the front lines] will effectively eradicate all traces of it from your system.

Do not hesitate -- Apply for terms at once. . . . .