Dick Nixon is Here to Stay. He's tanned, he's rested, and he's undead. And he has a Plan -- tap into the Silent Majority, make Peace With Honor. Confuse the Yellow Peril. Confound the Domino Theory. He's all that and -- wait, there's more . . .
He has top secret weapon VP Spiro Agnew. That great Greek American Hero knows how to raise money fast -- just bring wads of cash to the White House stuffed in envelopes. Then let him go off on freedom of the press and freedom of speech: "A spirit of national masochism prevails, encouraged by an effete corps of impudent snobs who characterize themselves as intellectuals" (1969); "In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism" (1970). With the Nixon-Agnew team in 2008, how could These United States of America ever go wrong again?
Dick Nixon knows how to kick around a good land line, but can he operate a cellphone? What does he think of a Mormon running for president, anyway? He'll appeal to the Still Silent Majority. He'll address The War on Terror. The Iraq War. The Afghanistan War. The Drug War. He'll know how to tap phone lines, record himself properly. He's Not a Crook and You Can't Kick Him Around Anymore, especially if you re-elect him. Never forget -- he still has a second term to finish. He wants to get it right. Give him that Mandate from Heaven.
By the end of his final term, it'll be Morning Again in America. And You Will Feel Better Off Than You Felt Four Years Ago.
(If all else fails, you can watch Paola Rey on the TV. The Colombian telenovela star just celebrated a birthday -- and you can, too.)
A Chicken for Every Pot, a Bullet for Every Gun! God Bless the Americas! A Pat Buchanan for every speech writing class:
When the troopers arrived, M-16s at the ready, the mob threatened and cursed, but the mob retreated. It had met the one thing that could stop it: force, rooted in justice, backed by courage. Greater love than this hath no man than that he lay down his life for his friend. Here were 19-year-old boys ready to lay down their lives to stop a mob from molesting old people they did not even know. And as they took back the streets of LA, block by block, so we must take back our cities, and take back our culture, and take back our country. God bless you, and God bless America. (1992)
5 comments:
Amazing how good certain things can sound when seen from a particular perspective.
Hey - great Kinks unearthing. Will be on the London Underground in a few hours myself. Can't blog properly for a while, but after the first few months of 2008 kicks in, will be able to make a better contribution.
I'll be looking for a John Dunbar post myself;)
Happy Festive Season Erik!
DT
Actually, do you think that any of the present crop of candidates parading in front of the masses will effect any real change?????
Doubtful...
WTF was Buchanan talking about? Happy holidays.
Rethabile,
Pat Buchanan is sick, kind of a fascistic psycho and speechwriter for Republican clowns. I saw him in Philly up close. He believes what he says, or so it seems. Definitely racist at heart, as are most post-Lincoln Republicans, as far as I can tell. Otherwise, they wouldn't be modern day Republicans.
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